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So… you’ve been romantically involved with someone for years now, and the relationship is serious and solid. For whatever reason (and there are many!), you don’t want to get married. Now that you’ve achieved the sought after “long-term, committed relationship”, how do you refer to eachother?

You could just let people call you husband and wife, but if that’s what you wanted, you’d be married.

The same goes for “fiance”.

You could confuse people with “common law husband/wife”, but that’s unwieldly and stiff sounding.

You could call eachother boyfriend and girlfriend, but that sounds like a casual fling or just plain juvenile. It can also cause real problems with people who assume that the playing field is still open.

You could put knots in your tongue with “significant other” or shorten it to “SO”, but the term has become dated and laughable to many. It also becomes tiresome explaining to people what it means.

You could refer to eachother as “my partner”, but if you have a business partner, things get confusing fast. If you say “life partner”, you assume that you’ll be together for your whole lives, and frankly, that’s unlikely.

You could say “soul mate”, but many people find that phrase too new-agey, or inappropriate for formal situations. The same goes for “lover”.

You could say “my better half”, but that’s sort of dodging the issue, isn’t it? And I hate to say it, but what about situations where it’s just not true?

“Other half” is a bit better, but personally, I like to think that my “partner” and I are discreet individuals.

What we need is a term that meets all these requirements:

* Short
* Obvious in its meaning
* Appropriate for both casual and formal situations
* Can be used by both males and females

With all the creative talent out there, this should be doable. Post your suggestions!

I’ve recently become friends with a Tibetan Buddhist monk/doctor. He’s rapidly learning English, but conversation can still be difficult. The other day, we were having a vegetarian meal with a number of people when he began to tell a story about the “rough, but good” people of far northwestern Tibet (the Kekexili region).

He said that the extreme cold, dryness and lack of soil makes it nearly impossible for them to grow fruits or vegetables. This (among other things) has led to a culture that’s quite different from that of southern Tibet, where most of the population lives.

He spoke a few more sentences that I only vaguely understood… something to do with northwestern Tibetans traveling to southern Tibet. The story ended with “…because they eat only meat!”

He laughed heartily, but then saw the confused looks on our faces. “That is a kind of a joke.”, he explained.

Then it dawned on me. Even Tibetan monks have Polack/Aggie/blonde jokes. It seems we humans have an innate need to poke fun at other groups of people whom we see as less sophisticated or intelligent than ourselves, even if we do it in a gentle, loving fashion. I wonder why that is?

As you can see by the time gap between posts, I’m perpetually busy. I don’t have the time to pen new missives as I’d like to. If I did, I’d be posting multiple times a day! However, I have plenty of things I’ve written in the past for other purposes that may be of interest to internet users. I’ll start posting these, just so they’re available online.

…if you can.

1. Credit card minimum payments will increase on most credit cards to 4% of the total balance over the next couple of months.

2. On October 17th, the remaining provisions of the new bankruptcy law will come into affect.

3. Credit card issuers have already started putting into place harsh punitive measures for payments that are even a day late, even if they’re from cardholders with a long history of on-time payments.

Right now, credit card minimum payments run between 1-2% of the account balance. Let’s say that you owe $10,000 on your cards. Right now, your minimum payment is $100-$200 a month. Between now & October, it will increase to $400 a month. For many households, this will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Meanwhile, these same households that will find themselves unable to cover their bills will have a much harder time saving themselves by declaring bankruptcy. For example, under the new law, filers will have to meet with a credit counselor for 6 months before they can even file for bankruptcy. That means 6 months of defaulted payments and harassment by credit collection agencies. And THEN, before they can have their debts discharged, they’ll have to attend money management classes at their own expense. (You know… with all that extra money that’s lying around.)

Credit card issuers are already putting into place new rules like big increases in late fees and APRs that can jump to over 30% if you’re late just one time. They’re also doing bizarre things like moving due dates backwards instead of forwards if the due date falls on a weekend.

(Personal note: I make online payments. I intended to deposit money Friday for my payment due Saturday. Under the old rules, I would have been given a grace period of sorts until the next business day, which would have been the same day my deposit cleared and my payment processed. Under the new rules, for Chase, at least, I was considered late at 3pm central time on Friday. FRIDAY. The day BEFORE my payment was due.

I do incredible things to ensure that I pay my minimum on time, no matter how hard things get. I’ve been with Chase for over 10 years with a perfect payment history. Yet, as of today, I have a $39 late fee and a new extreme APR.)

All this adds up to a huge widening of the gap between rich and poor, and an overall economic slowdown. The Christmas shopping season, which most US retailers depend on to make it through the year, looks like it will be less than merry for them.

Retailers like Wal-Mart, who depend on the poor for their profits, are already reporting losses as a result of rising gas prices. Many of their customers are simply too poor to even drive to Wal-Mart anymore!

(On a side note, Wal-Mart plans to combat this in part by trying to woo upscale shoppers with high-end items. That’ll be a tough sell!)

To me, this looks something like an economic tsunami headed our way. Yet, when I surfed the web looking for more information this weekend, most of what I found was smug rhetoric coming from people who don’t know what hard times are.

They said, “You shouldn’t have run around charging up debt and living beyond your means.”

They ignored the large number of Americans who have little or no health insurance and must pay for health emergencies on credit.

They said, “You should have made larger monthly payments.”

They ignored the fact that real wages have dropped, and that making more than the minimum payment has become impossible for many.

They said, “You shouldn’t have used your card for non-essential purchases.”

They ignored how credit cards are handed out like candy to college students.

But most of all, they ignored the large number of Americans walking a fine line between scraping by and losing everything. My prayers go out to all of you.

It occurs to me that I’ve never met a female with “Jr” or “II” attached to the end of their name. Is this a secret window into male versus female psyches?

Obviously, lots of people don’t fit into neat gender stereotypes. I’m proof of that. Oxygen, the so-called womens’ network, features more than a few shows that make me want to projectile vomit. Witness ‘Mr. Romance: Oxygen’s search to find the next Fabio‘. Buluhehhhhh!

(I’m not much for “date movies” either.)

Yet, when I think back on the many times that I’ve heard people talk about why they want kids (usually in the context of urging me to have children of my own), there are some common male and female phrases.

From men, I often hear stuff like, “I want someone to carry on my name/legacy.”, “I don’t want the family line to end with me.”, and “I want a kid that can finish what I started.” or “…do the things I couldn’t do.”

From women, I often hear things like, “I just love babies.”, “Kids are great!” and “It’s so cool watching these little people that came out of you develop their own personalities.”

Given human overpopulation, a future that looks pretty bleak, and all the things I’d rather be doing with my time and money, none of these reasons seem particularly compelling to me. They do, however, paint a picture.

By and large, the men indicate that they want a child for selfish reasons that have to do with their own egos. They don’t dream of a unique new person, but rather of another shot at their own youth. That would explain why, instead of giving a son his own individual name, they sometimes slap their name on him and call him “Junior”.

(It would also explain why I’ve known so many men who become desperate to have children after coming face to face with their own mortality. Ladies, want a family? Find a guy who’s just completed basic training for military service.)

On the other hand, (aside from the bizarre notion that babies are like dolls, only better) most women indicate that they want children for the experience, or as a way of completing themselves. There’s a selfishness here as well, though biology seems to drive it.

To be fair, there are probably also biological roots to typical male reasoning on the subject. Maybe that explains why my dad, David, not only named my brother “David”, but then remarried and named one of my half-brothers “David”, as well as giving David-like names to my half-sisters, Darcy and Darla.

Ok, I take it back. My dad just has a screw lose. As my brother put it, “He’d name his dog David if he could!”. I guess I should be more grateful that my mom insisted on naming me.

UPDATE: My dad claims that it was his 2nd wife who talked him into all those “D” names. Hmmm… I don’t know…

A lot of people tell me that they’re open-minded, but their everyday world presents a very narrow view of reality. I challenge everyone to step outside their comfort zone for a day, even if it’s just online.

PART ONE

Choose 3 blogs at random that are in direct opposition to you politically.

Read at least 1 post in each blog from start to finish. THINK about what you’ve read. You probably won’t agree with what you’ve read, but you’ll have much better insight into how “the other side” thinks.

Reality isn’t divided into “us” and “them”, or “good” and “evil”. Real solutions require cooperation, sometimes between sworn enemies. For example, animal rights activists and hunting enthusiasts have successfully worked together to save wildlife habitat. Democrats and Republicans have worked together to achieve common goals too many times to count.

Your enemy may one day be your most important ally.

PART TWO

Pick a foreign country from this blog directory.

Choose 3 blogs at random and read at least 1 post in its entirity at each one.

Chances are that the 3 blogs you’ve chosen will disagree on some point. Nowhere on Earth does there exist a nation or a group where everyone agrees on everything. Be wary when news reports insinuate otherwise. Our variety (intellectually and biologically) is a beautiful and powerful thing. Without it, we would never have survived as a species.

We all need balance. Whenever the negative gets to you, let the world’s friendliest fish cheer you up. He always puts a grin on my face! Thanks to photographer Shelley Sanders for such a great pic.

At a recent Vegetarian Society meeting in my area, we were shown a package of Vegetarian Intestines. No, these aren’t the intestines of some unfortunate vegetarian, but rather an Asian manufacturer’s attempt to cover all vegan meat-substitute needs.

As the package made its way around the room, I heard the same question over and over: “Who eats INTESTINES?!!!”. The answer is, plenty of people. Why else would there be more than one vegetarian version?

“Tripe” is the fancy word for cow intestines. Apparently, the more disgusting the innard (gourmands call them “variety meats”), the more highly it should be elevated in the dining pantheon. I remain skeptical. If people really think these things are so yummy, why do chefs use secret code names?

Foie is liver. Sweetbread is the thymus gland or pancreas of a young animal. Head cheese is a pressed, cheese-like block of boiled feet, the head and sometimes the heart and tongue of an animal. Andouille is intestine sausage. You knew I’d get back to intestines, didn’t you?

In South Texas, we have menudo. No, not the 80s boy band, although I do have to wonder who came up with such a nauseating name.

Menudo is the popular Tex-Mex way of serving up intestines. It also uses “veal knuckles”, which is a sliced up calve’s foot, plus some better ingredients to fool people into thinking it’s digestible. (Ok, I’m biased.) Other authentic Tex-Mex dishes include barbacoa (tongue) and tacos de sesos (brains).

Chinese gourmands will eat intestines from almost anything (geese, fish, cows), preferably in combination, but like to start with an appetizer of duck wing, sliced kidney or tongue. Cajun chefs try to fit multiple innards into one dish, like cowboy stew. At least the Cajuns tell it like it is, referring to variety meats as “debris”.

Soul food afficiandos call intestines chitterlings or chitlins. The famous Scottish dish haggis is packed into sheep’s intestine.

Greek Easter Lamb Soup or “mageritsa” uses the intestines, heart, lungs, liver, feet and head of a lamb. This last one particularly confounds me, since the promise of Easter (so I hear) is that God’s peacable kingdom will come when the lion lies down with the lamb. Am I missing something?

In the end, I suppose, it’s better to eat the whole animal if you’re going to kill it in the first place. Waste not, want not! Or maybe not…

Mad Cow Disease (bovine spongiform encephalopathy or BSE) has caused periodic bans on variety meats, particularly brains and intestines. In early 2004, the USDA declared a ban on “production” of these items. (Didn’t the animal that grew the organs produce them?) However, they allowed brains and intestines already on the shelves to be sold, and reversed most of the ban before the year was out.

Other countries haven’t felt quite so confident about our bovine-sourced products, including, in many cases, beef. These are collectively called “BSE risk commodities”. The US government is leaning hard on countries with the strictest bans, usually by threatening to ban their exports. In the meantime, Americans can feel free to enjoy Mad Cow risk foods to their heart’s (or intestines’ or brain’s) content.

Vegetarian intestines, anyone?

My brother, the genius truck driver, has just informed me that he wants to own a company called ‘Satan’s Dye Factory’ so that their slogan can be, “He sinned for our dyes.”

Gosh! Somebody actually liked my site and blog enough to do an email interview with me. Of course, my ego isn’t the only reason you should check out the Good Bloggin’ site.

“The Noon” and her friends also cover interesting new technology, the environment, politics, activism, etc. We’ve got a lot in common, but Good Bloggin’ adds a sort of online talent search to the mix, introducing readers to people and places they might otherwise miss. Check it out!