HeidiAllen.com

As I was browsing through women’s clothing at Ebay the other day, I stumbled across an auction touting used, dirty socks. Right away, I knew that this wasn’t just a joke. I suspected something much stranger.

The auction listing kept all bidder info private, and the seller promised that the socks were seriously worn and smelly. “In fact,” she wrote, “I’m wearing them right now.”

Uh-oh. Could it be? Could there possibly be smelly sock fetishists out there? I typed “used socks” into the search field. Sure enough, 155 matching auctions came up. Of the ones that I checked, all kept their bidders’ identities private.

Next, I Googled “used socks”. Yup. “usedsocks.net” shows a beautiful woman in a bikini and proclaims “This is my personal website where I am selling my used socks.”. “usedsocks.org” features a sex blog and foot photo gallery. Poco Panties cashes in with used panties, bras, lingerie, clothes and… socks.

And no, I’m not linking to these people. Find them for yourself.

But the proof that this thing has gone (somewhat) mainstream is the eHow tutorial. No, I’m not kidding. You, too, can learn how to make a profit selling used socks. Of course, you have to be a young, attractive female who doesn’t have a problem with putting suggestive photos of yourself online. Or you can do it through Ebay, where the photos tend to be more tame.

Since I make my living as an internet researcher, I come across fetish trends on a regular basis. I pity the young teen who types something like “intercourse” into Google Images and tries to learn about sex through the resulting photos. They’ll be left with the impression that making babies requires two men, one woman and several very flexible orifices. Or one woman who has (apparently) no internal organs, and one very large sex toy.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if someone travelled back in time and tried to show a group of 19th century men some modern day porn. Remember, back then, you were one lucky dude if you caught a glimpse of some woman’s ankle. I think seeing a woman stuff a football up her behind (yes, it exists) would make them drop dead on the spot. Their brains would explode.

Even today, most of the world’s population would be unable to comprehend what the hell they were seeing. And if they were able to wrap their heads around it, their most likely reaction would be outrage. We in the western world have become desensitized to over-the-top images of sex and violence. The clash of cultures is often a clash of the overprotected versus the overstimulated. We would do well to remind ourselves of that from time to time.

I’m a vegan, sometimes known as a strict vegetarian. When people discover this (for example, while overhearing me ask a question at a restaurant), they often react with hostility.

In one of the most common scenarios, the listener will turn to me with a cruel smile on their face, and proceed to describe in detail just how raw and bloody they like their meat. OK. Whatever. Maybe it’s never occurred to them that most vegetarians are former meateaters.

When they fail to elecit the desired response (Screaming? Fainting? Challenging them to a duel? I have no idea.), they get creative, and THAT’S when things get interesting.

Some brag about how much they make animals suffer when they go hunting. Never mind that a skilled hunter knows how to make a clean kill. They’re PROUD of their inability to shoot straight.

Some brag about how much meat they eat. Invariably, they’re overweight and/or in poor health. But ignore that… They’re PROUD to be actively avoiding a balanced diet.

A few days ago, a woman bragged to me that she’s never read a food label in her entire life. Apparently, reading labels is for pussies. Real Americans eat whatever cancer-causing heart attack bait the agro-giants decide to feed them.

This pride-in-stupidity phenomenon shows up in more places then just vegan-baiting. I regularly meet people who are proud to avoid exercise, proud that they don’t own a book, proud of making snap judgements, proud to be ignorant of geography, proud to be wasted, proud to be inflexible, and on and on.

I was careful to call this post ‘Pride In Stupidity’ rather than ‘Proud & Stupid’ because I don’t think most of these people are actually stupid. They just take pride in stupid choices. But why? Is it a misguided attempt at rebellion? Shame masked as pride? A knee-jerk reaction to those they perceive as judging them? Or are they truly proud?

Give me your .02 cents… and your misplaced pride examples.

The more I hear about James von Brunn, the more I think about Bodean Gazzer.

Gazzer was the main villain in author Carl Hiaasen’s dark comedy ‘Lucky You’, published in 1997. Racism provides Gazzer with both the perfect excuse for his failings and the fuel to propel him forward. Every poor decision and unfortunate event can somehow be blamed upon minorities or the government, alleviating him of any personal responsibility.

The fervor of his hatred gives him strength. The seductiveness of his reasoning sucks in others. After all, they’re being offered a chance to be cleansed of their sins… by making those sins someone else’s fault.

Gazzer and his disciples have found a less painful way to hate themselves. Ironically, by removing the impetus to improve as human beings, their hidden self-loathing will only grow.

This kind of hate engine can ultimately lead to violence. The bitterness builds, along with the derangement of logic. If left unchecked, the self-proclaimed “patriot” may well implode mentally, taking a course of action that’s both self-destructive and harmful to the perceived enemy.

Some readers found the character of Bodean Gazzer to be way over the top. There were hints that Hiaasen himself might be prejudiced against “rednecks” and “white trash”. Having grown up in Florida, I know that Gazzer is neither one of these. These terms refer to those who take their worldview from the culture into which they’re born. People like Gazzer actively build their own paranoid reality… and there are more of them than you might think.

Now we have murderer and white supremacist James von Brunn, a sort of uber-Gazzer whose exploits and ravings far exceed anything Hiaasen has ever concocted. Despite this, the mechanism behind their madness is the same. We owe Hiaasen a debt of gratitude for so starkly revealing it.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.". Seemingly in response, Lord Byron declared, "Truth is stranger than fiction.". And it certainly is.