HeidiAllen.com

Having to create a new username and password every time I bless an online store with a purchase is becoming a nightmare. Between the stores and other online services, I now have 1,055 username and password combinations.

I repeat… 1,055!!!

Obviously, I can’t use the same login over and over. That would create potential security problems. It would also be unsafe to create so many different login combinations that I needed to write them all down somewhere. (Whoever found my cheatsheet would hit the jackpot. Well, ok. Not the jackpot. …the pathetically tiny amount of money that I usually have in my account.)

I finally settled on a spreadsheet that uses code words for 10 usernames and 10 passwords, which gives me 100 potential combinations. Of course, that means I have to memorize 40 pieces of data. (10 usernames + 10 passwords + 20 code words). And if I forget what a code word means, I’m screwed.

To deal with that possibility, I created a second spreadsheet that provides further clues to help me remember what everything means. Of course, I’m not writing down the actual data anywhere. I’m way too paranoid for that. My system seems to work pretty well, except that the sheer volumn of unnecessary logins makes the HTML version of the spreadsheet a pain to access on my iPod.

(Yes, I have an iPod Touch, not an iPhone. I hhhhhhate AT&T!)

(Update, 3/2010: I was forced to get an iPhone with AT&T. (Long story.) I am now part of the machine. Bloop bleep. We are watching me/you.)

My mother deals with her logins by writing everything down in a little book. Of course, if anyone finds the little book, she’s in big trouble, but that’s not really an issue, since she can never find it herself. This has led to the creation of more than one little book.

Some data is in one. Some is in another. And often, she’s not even sure where in the book each little piece of data was recorded. Is it under “B” for bank, or “W” for the first letter of the bank’s name? Or perhaps something more arcane? (Yes, she goes there.)

In the end, the ridiculous number of logins makes us less secure and wastes more of our time, making the whole concept of a customer logins pointless. Oh sure, we can log in to track our orders, but is it worth it? We waste waaay more time keeping track of all those logins than we save.

And why are these online stores insisting on saving our sensitive information anyway? If they’re really interested in our security, shouldn’t they wipe that data from their systems and all their backups after the return period has expired? And whatever happened to the concept of privacy?

Finally, after you’ve completed your order, does the store provide a “Logout” link? Not usually. So much for security. If you’re on a public or shared computer, and forget to empty your history and cache, the next person could order as much as they wanted on your dime.

So… are you ready for a world where online stores don’t require logins (but you can create one if you want)? Maybe I’ve missed something here. Feel free to educate me.

(sent today)

To Whom It May Concern:

AIG has claimed that bonuses are necessary to retain good employees. However, making employees dependent upon guaranteed bonuses provides no incentive for them to perform quality work.

Bonuses tied solely to revenue generation provide an incentive for corruption and/or a reliance on short-term thinking at the expense of long-term stability. This approach also devalues other important employee skills and contributions. All these things ultimately weaken a company.

Meanwhile, unemployment remains high. There are many educated, motivated individuals looking for work. Wouldn’t a better business model be to end bonuses and to spend some of that money on training new employees in case some current employees quit?

Sincerely,
Heidi Allen